mikey

i remember, i posted a blog, when i was pissed at mike, and i told him that "im never going to be alone" and that i will always have someone that loves me. but sometimes, i think, and i think.. who?
of course my family does, but sometimes i question mikey. we've gotten into plenty of arguments and the one thing that i always remember, is that he said "im boo without her" - and thinkin about this past weekend, how i was there, every minute he was going insane, crying his eyes out, bleeding, screaming, cussing yelling, hitting, grabbing.. etc and i didnt leave him once. even though the many times he told me to get away from him to leave him to get the fuck out of his face and the many times he walked and ran away from me... i still tried. i still pushed to get him back into my car, i tried to calm him down, wipe away his blood, withstand his abuse and insults and stuff. but at the end of it all, i think about, would he do the same for me? cause really, that was the worst experience in my life. i never ever felt liek that towards him. that scared. that angry. that worried. that lost. i felt all over the place. but i didnt leave his side. i didnt drive away. i never said "fuck you mikey, im leaving" never did i do or say that.

i just wonder sometimes, if he would put up with me, if i did what he did. if i cried and went crazy like he did. cause i know, he has a very low bullshit tolerance, and this recent weekend, was full of unnecessary bullshit.

idk, i love mikey to death, i just wonder, if i went that crazy like he did, if he would be there.
cause no doubt, i know that if anyone ever hurts me or touches me or fucks with me. he is right there to fight for me, but i just dont want him to ever leave.